it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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