I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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