I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
