I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
