is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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