she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
