Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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