I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
