just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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