We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
