I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
