That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
