This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
