New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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