I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i now understand why vodka
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
