I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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