Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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