WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
