its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
