sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
