His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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