Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
