i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
