mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
