9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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