I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Found your dick twin last night
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
