see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
