I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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