If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
