we have pet lesbian snakes
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
