she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
