So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The air was thick with penises
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
