Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
