She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
