There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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