Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
