Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize