Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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