I could have mohawked her pubes.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
