She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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