i need an iv and a liver transplant
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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