Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She tied me up with her honor cords...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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