why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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