Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
