I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
