Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I want her autograph on my taint
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have aggressive nipples.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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