Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
