Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
