you would pick up someone in the library
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Randomize
