So gin and wine won't be happening again
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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