You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
