I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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